IN THE WAITING

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
    and do not lean on your own understanding.
 In all your ways acknowledge him,
    and he will make straight your paths."

Proverbs 3:5-6

A place to find encouragement when you're trying to trust God in the unknown. "In The Waiting" is the official blog of MyBabysFamily.com; a ministry that supports hopeful families seeking to grow through adoption.

 
 
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Do you ever feel like time goes too slow? Probably not, most days we're so stuck in our own busyness that we forget to slow down. That's not how things are for me right now. I mean, I'm obviously busy, but what's taking most of my heart and my mind is how much I ache to have a child of my own.


I try every day to not let the thought consume me; but holding my own precious baby in my arms...it's a very consuming love and yearning as many parents know, and many parents-to-be (like myself) wish to know. I could go on about that feeling for days, but I want to stop and take a moment to cheer you on in the waiting.


His love, our Father's love, for you is so deep and so complex that there is literally no way to describe it. Even though it hurts, I want to encourage you to step further down and let Him take you deeper. He has the power to sustain you and to heal your heart from the never-ending cracks that climb through it's surface the longer you wait for that sweet heartbeat to be held against your own in the form of a warm child.


Just keep going. Put one foot in front of the other and step into the unknown. Accept that there is always a new day, a new chance for your dream, our dream, to come true. Accept that the silence is not a no, but its just a delay. And if you can't, grab my hand, and I will step down with you into the unknown and walk with you every bit of the way.


We must go deep into unknown, into waters we can't traverse, into places we can't breathe without His help in order to get to the end of the journey. And I promise you, there will be an end, and not just a final outcome--but an outcome, no matter what it is, that will bring peace and joy. Even if it's not what we expected or wanted, it will be okay. We, you and I, no matter our situation ahead of us--we can do this.

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Going through these thoughts on a daily basis is as excruciating as waiting. In fact, it makes the waiting process so much harder. I've stepped so far into the unknown in my life, in this process of trying to start a family, that the only thing I can do is look up.


Each month I'm met with "it's not time, but it's not a no either," after two years of painful losses. I wonder to myself if waiting for the yes to come and being in neither a "yes," or "no," season is harder than all of the "no's" I had in 2018 and 2019. But were they really "no's," every miscarriage? Or were they just a deeper revelation of a fallen world that is in need of a Savior?


The anxiety, and the aches, and the pains of waiting to hold a baby in my arms never goes away. Like the loss of a loved one, you never stop wanting to build your family, and the process never gets easier. It just fades with time, the impact does, and you get stronger the longer you walk your own individual journey. Whether you're trying to conceive naturally, or whether you're trying to build your family through adoption--the wait can be just as painful and very similar. In the end we learn the gift of life is only in the hands of one--God.


Pregnancy alone confounds medical experts in many ways still today. So in this moment, I encourage you to breathe. My own season of waiting hasn't even come to a breakthrough, and I assure you my ache is very similar to your own. But, yet we still have to learn how to get through it all each day. And so, we look to the only one who can answer our prayers and also causes those answers to be delayed for whatever His reasoning beyond us. We just have to take each moment in life one step at a time, and we just have to breathe.

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